You're Not Alone
by greasergirl
Summary: 15-year-old Ashley's life goes from bad to worse, and she wants to end it. Can one of the greasers change her mind? PG13 just to be safe
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is my first fanfic and I don't know how it'll turn out... please don't flame me, I accept constructive criticism but no flames.  
  
Anyway, in this fanfic Dally and Johnny are still alive. Pony never fell asleep in the lot so Darry never hit him, he never ran away with Johnny, etc... This takes place a few days after the guys met Cherry and Marcia.  
  
You should also know that I might change points of view within the story, but I'll try to not confuse anyone. For now this is mainly in Ashley's p.o.v.  
  
Oh yeah, this is NOT a mary-sue.  
  
Chapter 1:  
  
*Ashley's P.O.V.*  
  
I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that my old man was dead.  
  
I guess it was bound to happen sometime, him being the drunken idiot he was. It's just that with mom dying a few months ago, and now dad too, I'm realizing something.  
  
I'm an orphan. That's something scary to think about. And I don't want to think. I just want to go back a few months. To tell mom not to go out in that weather. To tell her to be careful crossing that bridge. But I can't. And that makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry until I drown in my tears.  
  
Everything used to be so perfect. Mom was a single parent who had me at 16, but she did a fine job raising me. We weren't exactly rich and we lived on the east side of Tulsa. But so what.  
  
And then that one stormy night when that bridge collapsed just as mom was crossing it... that one night changed my life forever.  
  
The social workers placed me with my father. He left mom and me when I was 4. I remember him visiting me a few times when I was younger. But then he stopped. All along, I guess I've known that he was still living in Tulsa, even though I haven't seen him since that time on the street when I was ten.  
  
Living with dad was hectic. He came home drunk practically every night, several times with his "girlfriend of the week". He never hit me, but he did scare me a lot screaming at the top of his lungs.  
  
That was bad, but I dealt. I had to. I didn't want to be put in a foster home.  
  
I'm a greaser, but I doubt that even greasers know I exist. I've always been a loner. I don't have many friends. Not many close friends anyway. I'm pretty shy and quiet. I guess I like avoiding people whenever possible.  
  
It was just last night that my dad crashed his car into a tree. It was one hell of a tree too, and he died before he arrived at the hospital. Of course he was drunk.  
  
I found out a couple hours later. Someone called the house at 3 AM to tell me. I wish they would have waited 'til morning. At least I could've slept.  
  
I cried for a bit. Actually for hours. I don't care if he was a drunk that couldn't care less about me. He was my dad and I still loved him. I'm an emotional person. And a crybaby.  
  
The worst part was that it reminded me of the night I lost mom. Both happened on a friday night in a car accident. Of course mom wasn't drunk, but still it reminded me just the same.  
  
That's probably why I bawled until 7 or 8. I didn't bother to check the time before I left. I wasn't really sure where exactly I was going. I guess I needed to take a long walk to think.  
  
Right now the only thing stuck in my mind was: What's going to happen to me now? Am I going to a foster home? No, I'm not. They can't make me go. I'm 15 years old, I can manage on my own. I guess I have no choice.  
  
Too many thoughts were filling my head. I need to clear my mind before I pass out.  
  
My god, I look like I got jumped. My hair is all messed up with a million knots in it. My eyes are completely bloodshot and puffy. My face is red from all my tears. My clothes are dirty and torn. What a wonderful day...  
  
I walked down the street dragging my feet and looking down. My life seems so horrible right now. I guess a lot of people have it worse. It's just that I'm usually strong and in control, but now I'm lost and confused.  
  
And believe me, my day didn't get any better when I saw that blue mustang trailing me...  
  
A/N: Cliffhanger! Most of my chapters will probably end in these, so better get used to it! Anyway, I'd really appreciate it if you reviewed with your thoughts. Chapter 2 is coming soon! 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
  
*Ashley's P.O.V.*  
  
Dealing with Socs is all I need right now. Seriously, I'm in no condition to fight.  
  
Maybe if I ignore them they'll ignore me. Maybe everyone will ignore me. Maybe the whole world will forget I exist. Maybe I'll disappear. Maybe...  
  
My thoughts were disturbed by the slamming of car doors. I guess the Socs got out.  
  
Ignore them. Just ignore them, Ash.  
  
"Hey greaser" said one of them in a tone that made me nauseous.  
  
Ignore them. Don't respond.  
  
"Yeah you, turn around greaser"  
  
Don't pay attention. Don't speak. Ignore everything.  
  
"Are you fucking deaf?"  
  
Ignore them. Keep walking Ashley. Ignore them.  
  
He grabbed me by the shoulders and swung me around. I was now face to face with him. I counted four others by the mustang.  
  
"Hey grease, what's your problem?"  
  
I stared at my feet. That's kind of a habit of mine.  
  
"I said, what's your problem?"  
  
Don't talk. Don't talk Ashley. Ignore him.  
  
"Maybe this will help you talk" He pulled out a knife.  
  
I stared him straight in the eyes.  
  
"Fuck off" Was what came out of my mouth.  
  
The four other Socs stepped forward.  
  
"Greaser's got an attitude" said one of them.  
  
"I don't like the way you're talking to me" said the first  
  
So much for ignoring them.  
  
"Shut your trap, you rich shit" I snapped.  
  
Next thing I remember was feeling a sharp pain going through my whole body. My ears were buzzing like sirens. I couldn't see anything. My mind was blacking out. I must be dying.  
  
A/N: Sorry that was so short. Please review! 


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thanks SO much for the reviews you guys, it really helps! Here's a long chapter to make up for that short one. Sorry this took so long, it's just that the weekend is the only time I can get on the computer and write this.  
  
Chapter 3  
  
*Ashley's P.O.V.* [I think I'm going to stop putting that there because my story will always be in Ashley's p.o.v. unless it says otherwise]  
  
Something woke me up.  
  
At first I didn't know what it was but then realized it wasn't a something. It was a someone. It may have been several people, but my ears were still ringing and I couldn't tell.  
  
I wondered if I should open my eyes. I mean, what if these people were Socs? Maybe they were trying to kill me.  
  
I am so paranoid.  
  
If they were Socs that were trying to kill you, they would have done it by now, stupid.  
  
"Can you hear me?" asked an unfamiliar voice.  
  
At least I think that's what he said...  
  
"Yeah" I replied. My throat was real itchy and dry.  
  
I opened my eyes and saw three guys kneeling around me. All of them were greasers. Two of them looked quite a bit like each other. I half-recognized the one kid. He was a freshman, like me. And I've seen the other two around. Or maybe I was hallucinating.  
  
"Uh, who are you?" I asked the one kid that was closest to me.  
  
"Sodapop Curtis" He replied, casually.  
  
Cool name. Never heard of him.  
  
My left arm hurt. I looked at it and found a jacket wrapped around it. With a blood stain on it.  
  
"What happened to me?" I asked, sounding really stupid.  
  
"Some idiot Soc stabbed you" said Sodapop. "Nice choice of words towards him, by the way" he added, grinning.  
  
If I had been the friendly talkative type, I would have grinned back because something about his grin was really contagious. But my mouth stayed in its usual blank expression.  
  
"Think you can walk? We can bring you to my house and fix ya up." he asked.  
  
The two other guys were kind of staring at me. It really creeped me out. I wish they would stop.  
  
"Yeah probly. Wait... what's wrong with me?" I asked.  
  
"Hate to tell ya this, but you don't look that great." he said.  
  
Well thank you, Captain Obvious.  
  
I tried to get up.  
  
"Need some help there?" asked the kid that looked like Sodapop.  
  
I hated asking for help. I'm independent.  
  
Oh shut up, Ashley.  
  
"Yeah, I guess"  
  
The kid and Sodapop pretty much lifted me off the ground.  
  
I was instantly dizzy and felt like throwing up.  
  
Sodapop put his arm around my waist to help me walk. I put mine (The un- wounded one) around his neck. Not like I had much choice.  
  
This felt really annoyingly uncomfortable. I hate being close to people like this. Especially guys. The fact that they're greasers didn't change anything.  
  
"My house is just a few blocks down this way." said Sodapop, pointing to my left.  
  
"Oh" I said.  
  
Is that all you can say, Ash?  
  
Sodapop and I walked before the others. It still felt uncomfortable being in the position I was in. But I doubted that I would stay standing if I told him to let go. So basically I was stuck.  
  
The silence was quite awkward. I mean I like silence and all, but this silence didn't feel right. Sodapop seemed like a person who liked to talk. And I kind of wanted to talk to him too. The words just don't come out right when I try to say them. So once again I kept my mouth shut.  
  
"You never told me your name" said Sodapop.  
  
"Ashley Cameron" I said dully.  
  
"Never seen you around before, Ashley" he said, obviously trying to start a conversation. "You live here?"  
  
"Sort of" I said, staring at my feet.  
  
"Aha. You go to school?"  
  
"I'm a freshman."  
  
"Where do you live?"  
  
"Nowhere"  
  
He had a puzzled look on his face. Why was he asking so many questions anyway?  
  
"My mom died, so I moved into my dad's house. Then he died too, just last night" I began to get kind of pissed off, I don't know why. "Any other questions?" I asked angrily.  
  
"I'm sorry." He said.  
  
"For what?"  
  
"About your parents. I know how you feel."  
  
"Oh yeah?"  
  
"My parents died almost eight months ago"  
  
"Oh."  
  
I felt like such an idiot I wanted to slap myself on the face. But I couldn't because one arm was injured and the other around Sodapop's neck.  
  
We walked for what seemed a really long time. Probably cause my arm hurt and my legs were wobbly. And I was tired and hungry. And I was uncomfortable. And I was... you get the idea.  
  
"It's just a couple houses down" said Sodapop, breaking the silence I drowned myself in.  
  
"Uh... okay" I couldn't find anything better to say.  
  
I looked behind me and saw the other two guys walking slowly. They were greasers, all right. No one could miss the torn jeans, slouching postures, and of course the greasy hair.  
  
I was never into following the greaser girl look. I didn't wear slut make up and I hated those short skirts.  
  
I think I've got a really unique look. I've got light brown hair that's pretty straight and it goes down to my shoulders. It's quite thick. I put a few jet-black highlights in it. No clue why.  
  
My wardrobe consists of mostly black things, other than my torn blue jeans, which I have several pairs of. I like black. I think it matches my personality.  
  
I'm not too much for wearing make up, but I do insist on having my black eyeliner. I think it makes my eyes more deep-looking.  
  
There's only one part of me that doesn't match the rest. My eyes. They are ocean blue and really big. I was born with puppy eyes. I've been told that they're pretty, but I don't like them just the same. My eyes can sometimes tell my emotions, and I like to keep them secret, so it scares me. That's why I always wear dark eyeliner.  
  
So that's me.  
  
"Here we are" Sodapop's voice broke the silence again.  
  
We arrived at a regular greaser-type house.  
  
Sodapop and I walked up the front porch slowly, and then he opened the door and we both walked in.  
  
For some crazy reason, this place reminded me of home.  
  
Did that mean something...?  
  
A/N: Not much of a cliffhanger... oh well. 


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thanks again for the reviews.  
  
Movielvr: they mean she looks bad because she was crying all night and just got jumped by Socs.  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Sodapop walked me to a couch in the living room and I collapsed onto it.  
  
"Who are you guys?" I asked the other two who followed us inside.  
  
"Ponyboy Curtis." said the one that looked like Sodapop.  
  
So they were brothers.  
  
"Steve Randle" said the other, looking a bit annoyed.  
  
"I'm Ashley. Ashley Cameron"  
  
I was slurring my speech like I was drunk. Probably because I got only two hours of sleep the night before. I doubted I could fall asleep, though. With all the events that had just taken place.  
  
"You hungry?" asked Sodapop.  
  
"Yeah... well, no"  
  
I was, but I felt like throwing up as well.  
  
"Which one is it?" he asked, grinning.  
  
"No thanks" I said.  
  
"Suit yourself then. Pony? Steve? How bout some chocolate cake?"  
  
Chocolate cake for breakfast? Now I really felt sick.  
  
"Sure" they both said, but not at the same time.  
  
"Um, Sodapop..." I started.  
  
"You can call me Soda" he interrupted.  
  
"Soda... what time is it?"  
  
"Quarter after 10" he said.  
  
"Thanks"  
  
I wanted to rest, I really did. But I just couldn't fall asleep.  
  
I could smell the chocolate cake from where I was. I don't like chocolate much, especially for breakfast. That's just disgusting.  
  
I was somewhere in my thoughts when I was interrupted by a slamming door.  
  
I hate when people interrupt my thoughts.  
  
Two guys walked in. One was tall and had annoyingly long sideburns. The other was small and tan and looked like he was 13 or 14. Probably someone's little brother.  
  
"Hey Greasers!" said the tall kid, smiling widely.  
  
"Great. Two-bit's here" said Ponyboy.  
  
"Don't get mouthy with me, Ponyboy" said Two-Bit, still grinning.  
  
The other kid stayed in one place and said nothing. He completely reminded me of myself.  
  
Two-bit walked into the living room and stopped when he saw me.  
  
"Who's the chick?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow.  
  
"Ashley Cameron." I said, "And never call me a chick again"  
  
I hate it when these stuck-up guys call girls chicks.  
  
"Fiesty" he said, smirking.  
  
I seriously wanted to smack him. I gave him my death glare instead.  
  
He just laughed at me.  
  
"What happened to you anyway?" he asked in a completely obnoxious tone.  
  
"Leave her alone, Two-Bit" said Soda. "She got in a fight with a mustang- full of Socs"  
  
Two-bit's expression changed.  
  
"Nice going" he said, before making his way towards the chocolate cake.  
  
"I think we might need to take you to the hospital for that cut" said Sodapop.  
  
"I'll be okay" I said, despite the pain I felt in my arm. "I'll just wash it out and put a bandage on it."  
  
I got up, slowly. Very slowly. And to my surprise, I stayed standing.  
  
"Where's the bathroom?" I asked.  
  
"Follow me." said Soda.  
  
"Pony, can you get me a bandage?" he asked.  
  
"Sure" said Ponyboy quietly.  
  
When we got to the bathroom, I realized that I never got to see my wound.  
  
I closed my eyes when Soda unwrapped the jacket that was around my arm.  
  
"You squeamish?" he asked.  
  
"Not typically. But I feel sick enough as it is and I don't particularly think seeing this will help me feel better."  
  
I was amazed at the fact that I had just spat out a long sentence like that.  
  
"Sorry if this hurts" Soda said.  
  
I didn't particularly pay attention to what he was doing because once again I lost myself in my thoughts.  
  
"Ashley? Ashley?" yelled Soda.  
  
I opened my eyes and saw a bandage securely wrapped over my arm.  
  
"What? Sorry, I dazed off."  
  
"You do that a lot, don't you?" he asked, smiling.  
  
"I guess" I replied. One of these times he's going to make me grin back at him.  
  
I walked back into the living room and sat on the couch.  
  
Two-Bit walked in and unfortunately sat down next to me.  
  
"Hello again. I believe we never got properly introduced. I'm Two-Bit Matthews." He said, grinning.  
  
Soda and Two-Bit both grinned a lot, but their grins were so different. Soda's was warm and kind and although I'll never say this out loud, it made me want to smile too. Two-Bit's on the other hand was more of a smirk and it bothered me very much.  
  
"Pleasure to meet you" I said dully, hoping he would catch my sarcasm.  
  
"Well, how bout we talk about something, Ashley?" he asked.  
  
"Sounds fun" I said sarcastically. I liked being sarcastic.  
  
"OK, so do you have any siblings?"  
  
"No"  
  
"I do. I have a sister. Where do you live?"  
  
"None of your business"  
  
"How old are you?"  
  
"Ninety seven"  
  
"Really? Me too. What a crazy coincidence."  
  
"My turn! Can you leave me alone?"  
  
Two-bit cocked an eyebrow again.  
  
"Why, am I bothering you or something?"  
  
"Yes" I said coolly, giving him my death glare for the second time today.  
  
"You hurt my feelings" he said, making a really pathetic puppy face.  
  
Then he got off the couch and went into the kitchen. Thank god.  
  
"So Soda, you taking out Sandy tonight?" asked Ponyboy.  
  
"Yup. Me and Steve are taking Sandy and Evie to the drive-in." Soda replied.  
  
"And no Ponyboy, you can't come" said Steve.  
  
I get confused when people talk about their love lives. Probably because I don't have one. And I don't plan on getting one, either.  
  
"Do you want anything Ashley?" asked Sodapop as he walked into the room.  
  
"Besides wanting to die? No." I said, not being sarcastic that time.  
  
"How bout a pillow and blanket?" he asked, ignoring my suicidal comment.  
  
"That'll be great" I said.  
  
Soda brought in a pillow and a quilted blanket, for which I was very thankful for.  
  
I lay there for what must have been an hour. I just couldn't fall asleep.  
  
I could hear the guys talking in the kitchen. Cursing, laughing, enjoying themselves. Why couldn't I do that? Why couldn't I be friendly and talkative? Why?  
  
Two-Bit walked into the room.  
  
"You're still awake." He said, matter-of-factly.  
  
"Really?" I asked.  
  
"Yup."  
  
"Thanks, I didn't know"  
  
"You're welcome Ashley Cameron. What's your middle name?"  
  
I wondered for a second if I should disclose this information.  
  
"Janine. Why do you care?"  
  
He ignored my question.  
  
"Ashley Janine Cameron. Ashley Janine Cameron. Hey... can I call you AJ?"  
  
"No"  
  
He is so annoying.  
  
"Thanks, AJ"  
  
"So, Two-Bit, what is your real name?"  
  
"Two is my first name. Bit is my middle. Matthews is last."  
  
He thinks he's so funny.  
  
"So AJ, trouble sleeping?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah" I said, losing my sarcastic tone.  
  
"How bout Two-Bit tells ya a bedtime story?"  
  
"That would just about make my day"  
  
"Good. Here it goes: There was this one cool ol' dude named Two-Bit. Everyone loved him and thought he was the greatest guy in the world. Seriously, this guy was amazing. All of the chicks drooled over him constantly and they fought just to get his number. One day, Two-Bit was..."  
  
I never heard the end of Two-Bit's wonderful story because it bored me to sleep...  
  
A/N: No cliffhanger again. This is bad. I must come up with a cliffy to make my readers go crazy. (J/K)  
  
Anyway, incase you were confused about the Sandy thing, she hasn't found out that she's pregnant yet so she's still together with Soda.  
  
I'll try to update soon with chapter 5. 


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thanks again for the reviews, I love getting people's opinions on my writing. Note to self: Go write reviews for other peeps. Sorry this took so long... again.  
  
Chapter 5  
  
"Good morning, sweetheart" said mom as I walked down the stairs and into our homey kitchen.  
  
"Morning mom"  
  
She smiled her wonderful warm smile.  
  
I smiled back and pulled my hair into a ponytail. I could smell the home made pancakes mom made every Sunday.  
  
"I love you" I said, hugging my mom.  
  
"I love you too, honey"

. . . . . . . . . .

"Hey sleeping beauty, care for some dinner?"  
  
Stupid Two-Bit woke me up from the best dream I've had in a long time.  
  
"No, I would not. But it would be quite nice if you took a long walk off a short cliff."  
  
"Wanna come with me, babe?" He asked, smirking.  
  
I threw my pillow at him as hard as I could. It wasn't at all hard considering my injured arm.  
  
"I guess that's a no" He said, making a fake frown.  
  
"You're one smart cookie" I said sarcastically.  
  
"Yup. Come on, get up, I want you to meet the gang."  
  
I guess it was the least I could do, seeing as that I was staying in their house and that some of them may have saved my life.  
  
"Fine" I said, getting up.  
  
Two-Bit held out his hand.  
  
I glared at him with my 'you've got to be kidding me' glare.  
  
"Okay then" He said, walking and leading me to the back door.  
  
I walked out to see four guys sitting on the lawn, three of them smoking.  
  
"Guys, meet AJ" said Two-Bit cheerfully.  
  
"It's Ashley" I corrected.  
  
"AJ, meet the guys" he went on, ignoring my remark.  
  
"That's Johnny, Darry, and Dally" he said, expecting me to remember who's who. "You've met Ponyboy. Soda and Steve are out with their girls. And of course you've met me."  
  
"Aha. Hi." I said dully to the guys that were kind-of staring at me.  
  
"Hello" said Darry or Dally, which ever one is the muscular brown-haired guy, speaking for all of them.  
  
"Come on guys, the cake's ready" said Two-Bit.  
  
What is it with these people and cake?  
  
"Do you want any, AJ?" asked Two-Bit.  
  
"No. And it's Ashley!"  
  
"Do you ever eat?"  
  
Why does Two-Bit keep bothering me? Doesn't he have a life?  
  
"Yes, I do" I replied, dully.  
  
"So, why not have some chocolate cake?"  
  
Maybe if I talked normally and not sarcastically he'd get bored of bothering me.  
  
"Because I'm not really hungry and I'm not too big on chocolate anyway. Okay?"  
  
"That's cool." He said and walked off.  
  
I followed into the kitchen.  
  
"It's real nice of ya'll to let me stay here. Thanks." I said, kind-of, sort-of half smiling.  
  
"Soda and Pony explained the deal." said the big muscley guy. "You can stay with us for as long as you need."  
  
"Thanks" I said.  
  
"I'm Darry. Ponyboy and Sodapop's older brother."  
  
"Oh. Uh, nice to meet you. I think I'll go back to sleep, I don't feel that great."  
  
"Want some aspirin?" asked Ponyboy.  
  
"Yeah, sure" I said.  
  
Ponyboy handed me the pill bottle and Johnny (I think that's his name) got me a glass of water.  
  
"Thanks" I said walking away.  
  
I swallowed two aspirins and lay back on the comfortable couch.  
  
And I drifted off to sleep...

. . . . . . . . . .  
  
When I woke up I could see the darkness of the night pouring in through the windows.  
  
It took me a couple of seconds to remember where I was. Too many memories came back, too many unpleasant, horrible memories. My arm hurt badly and my head was throbbing.  
  
I need to take a walk. I need to think and get myself together. Otherwise I'm not gonna survive.  
  
I got up and walked over to the kitchen. Using the moonlight coming through the window, I saw that it was 2:48. It was the middle of the night. The perfect time for a walk.  
  
I put my shoes back on and started to walk towards the door. I stopped myself. These people helped me and gave me a place to stay. The least I could do was tell them where I was.  
  
I got found a pen and some paper and wrote a note.  
  
....................  
  
Went to take a long walk.   
Be back in the morning.  
Ashley  
  
....................  
  
I left it on the kitchen counter, hoping they would notice it. Then, as quietly as possible, I walked out the front door into the night.  
  
It took a good 5 minutes to figure out where exactly I was. The street lights helped a lot. I was 4 blocks away from dad's place, and since I wanted to stop there anyway, I walked towards that direction down the street.  
  
I dragged my feet and stared at the ground for the most part, taking a glace at the beautiful full moon every once in a while.  
  
I loved walking in the middle of the night. There was no one to disturb me. No one I had to talk to, no one I had to pay attention to. Just me.  
  
I walked and walked down the street, taking a few turns at corners. The cool night air felt great and my headache began to die down.  
  
Before I knew it, I was at dad's house. This brought back bad memories of the night before, and I did my best to just ignore them for now. It worked.  
  
I opened the door and instantly smelled alcohol. It was like dad was still there. I was a bit scared.  
  
I turned on the lights, and the surroundings gave me some comfort. I probably should have gone to sleep. But I spent almost the whole day asleep, and I wasn't the least bit tired.  
  
I decided that I needed to clean myself up so I don't look like I've been jumped. Wait... I have been. Oh well.  
  
I took a LONG shower and put some new bandages on my arm. My wound didn't look that horrible, thanks to Soda I guess. It hurt less too, thankfully.  
  
I got dressed in my long black jeans that were torn at both knees. I put on a black tank top and a black sweatshirt over it. I combed my hair and brushed my teeth. And of course, put on my eyeliner. Soon I was back to semi-normal. Semi being the key word.  
  
Now that I looked like a human being again, I started to feel a bit more like one, too. I sat down for a little while. Then, I got up and walked out.  
  
I had no clue whatsoever where I was going and I didn't get out enough to know these streets very well. So I guess I was kind of lost, but it didn't worry or bother me at all.  
  
So I walked on and on to god knows where.  
  
It turned out I actually didn't go that far. I wound up at the park. I've only been here a few times before, but I loved it.  
  
My childish side told me to jump in the fountain, but my adult side held me back.  
  
I sat on the monkey bars until the sun came out. I love watching the sun rise and set, it looks so amazing. I like being outside too, as long as it's not in the broad daylight. I stayed out so many nights from sunset till morning. Mom understood me so she let me stay out.  
  
I looked at my reflection in the water. I should dye my hair black, it would look really good. I wish my eyes were black, too. The whole world should be black.  
  
After sitting for a few more minutes, I got up and started to walk towards the Curtis house.  
  
I thought about the idea of being put in a foster home, and I hated it. There was no way that was going to happen to me. I don't know what's going to happen, though. I don't know anything anymore.  
  
It was real nice of those guys to let me stay at their house, but I couldn't stay there forever. My living relatives are all so distant, and it's not like they care about me anyway. So, where was I gonna go?  
  
It's really annoying when I think of so many things at once, and that is where most of my headaches come from.  
  
I was almost at the house when it started to rain.  
  
I love the rain. Any type of rain, from a summer shower to a major thunderstorm. I love it. I don't know why, I just do.  
  
I stood there in the middle of the street like an idiot until the rain storm ended. It probably lasted 20 minutes, and it soaked me from head to toe. Who cares, I'd dry off eventually.  
  
The sun came out, followed by a rainbow. I hate rainbows. They're too colorful, and that really bothers me. I wish rainbows were black.  
  
I felt kind of bad coming into the house like this, but people like Two-Bit have probably dragged in something worse than water. So I opened the door and walked right in.  
  
Inside, Darry was cooking something and Ponyboy and Soda were sitting at the table.  
  
"Hi" I said, noticing that all three were looking at me.  
  
"What happened to you?" asked Soda, kind of laughing at me.  
  
"The rain" I said, I wanted to add 'duh' but I wasn't the type of person who would do that.  
  
"You look different, too" he said.  
  
"This is how I usually look" I said, my tone being a little more obnoxious than I had intended it to be.  
  
"Cool"  
  
"Breakfast will be ready in a minute" said Darry.  
  
"Okay" I said.  
  
I don't know what was wrong with me, but I wasn't the least bit hungry. I know I haven't eaten since Friday evening, but I had absolutely no desire for food.  
  
"So tell us about yourself" said Darry.  
  
I really hate when I have to talk about myself.  
  
"What do you want to know?" I asked.  
  
"I don't know. Whatever you feel like talking about." he said.  
  
"I don't really feel like talking about myself, but okay. I'm 15 and a freshman at school. My parents are dead. I have no siblings, pets, or relatives that care about me. My hobbies include thinking, standing in the rain, and staring into space. I'm..."  
  
"Whoa... don't wear yourself out" said Sodapop.  
  
And guess what I did. I smiled.  
  
"So you CAN smile, can you?" he said,  
  
"Guess so" I said, still smiling.  
  
It was weird. Not many people can make me smile. Just my mom, and now Soda too.  
  
A/N: That chapter took me a while...  
  
This is kind of off topic, but I finally saw the Outsiders movie yesterday. Yay! People weren't exactly how I pictured them to be, but Matt Dillon (Dally) was so hot... I have no idea why I'm wasting space writing this. Oh well.  
  
I'm really going to try to update faster with Chapter 6. 


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